I thought it only appropriate after the inaugural season of the most excellent
Masters of Horror series that I give you my complete ranking of all of the episodes of the first season.
Without further ado here you go:
# 12 –
Deer Woman – My least favorite of the series would have to have been John Landis’ Deer Woman. It was definitely an insight to the horny male, but still and all not a great story. I think the problem was I that I was not convinced by the story to suspend my disbelief long enough to enjoy it.
# 11 –
Chocolate – I was not thoroughly impressed with Mick Garris’ contribution to the series. Though it had its moments and memorable characters like Wally, the red Mohawk wearing rocker, it lacked a certain something for me.
# 10 –
The Fair Haired Child – They say that a parent should never have to live beyond the death of their child, but in this episode the parents absolutely refused to do so. In the process they caused their child to hate them and seek revenge.
# 9 –
Dance of the Dead – A big theme in horror this year seems to be politics. Go figure with what is going on in the world today. Although Tobe Hooper’s entry wasn’t one of my faves in the series it scored big points for it’s dark look and the fact that it had Robert Englund playing somewhat of a master of ceremonies for a most interesting show.
# 8 –
Haeckel’s Tale - An orgy with the dead rates high in the scorebook so it’s no wonder that William Malone and John McNaughton’s Haeckel’s Tale was so interesting to me. But what I really love is when there is a lesson hidden within all of the madness. In this tale it seemed to be to leave well enough alone. Let the dead be dead lest you be forced to fornicate with rotting flesh the rest of your life – yuck!
# 7 –
Jenifer – Dario Argento’s freaky mutated seductress pretty much grossed me out. But I also couldn’t help but feel sorry for her. I mean a girl’s gotta eat right? Too bad for Jenifer that no one really understood her culinary cravings.
# 6 –
Homecoming – Another politically charged episode directed by Joe Dante. It was really interesting in its accusatory tone that although a soldier might die for a cause, they might not actually believe in it. This one also reinforces a little life lesson – be careful what you wish for because you might actually get it!
# 5 –
Pick Me Up – Refreshingly different, with quite the little twist at the end. Larry Cohen provides quite the tale of two serial killers. Throughout the episode I kept wondering, who really is the hunted? Who really is the hunter? As the two serial killers battle to prove that they are the true top of the serial killer heap, you become totally engrossed in their battle and the twist at the end leaves you feeling like whoa!
# 4 –
Dreams in the Witch-House – A rat familiar, a witch and a bleeding mental patient – what a great episode. Stuart Gordon really put together an awesome episode for this series. I especially liked the ending.
# 3 –
Incident on and off a Mountain Road – The heroine of this episode directed by Don Coscarelli has some secrets of her own and that is what makes this episode so interestingly endearing. She had already been through enough and wasn’t about to let a psychopathic killer ruin her day any further. The fact that the psychopathic killer is just so hideous really helps the cause as well. Excellent contribution that stayed at the top of the list for quite a while!
# 2 –
Sick Girl – I ended up switching Incident on and off a Mountain Road and Sick Girl’s place in my ratings. There was something I just loved about Lucky McKee’s entry into the Masters of Horror series. I honestly think he is brilliant and cannot wait to see more from him.
. . . And drum roll please . . .
# 1 –
Cigarette Burns – I really struggled between Sick Girl and Cigarette Burns for 1st place but at the end of the day John Carpenter’s story about the quest for La Fin Absolue Du Monde had to win out. It had absolutely everything – masochism, terrorism, de-winged angels etc.- and it was very dark and demented which is just the way I like my horror.
Conspicuously absent from my list of course is Takashi Miike’s film Imprint. Whether a marketing ploy by the powers that be or not I have to say that I am very disappointed that it was not shown on Showtime. So it is possible –inevitable really– that at some point in the future my rankings will change. But for now they are as stated above.
